Drama

Drama (porcelain serving dish, diana baur)

Drama (porcelain serving dish, diana baur)

In recent years, I've listened to a great deal about drama.  Often, it's been in the form of,  I want less drama in my life... I can't handle her drama...I'm done with drama.  

Sometimes, the person saying these words has been me. 

I've had an on-again-off-again relationship with drama.  In the last two years, I've made an effort to curtail it in my life.  The years prior were full of thrashing and inexplicable amounts of growth that had left me raw, fatigued and overwhelmed both physically and psychologically.  

I desperately needed a rest.  

And, although starting a brand new internet venture from scratch with international suppliers and clients might not seem like a rest, it has been for me, in a way, a rest from the drama that had pervaded the years prior.  

Pulling back from dramatic energy enabled me to refocus and unwind some of the natural chaos that seems to follow me.  It was easier for me to extricate from other people's drama when I didn't have so much of it going on myself.  It enabled me to think more clearly and to put things in their proper perspective. 

There are definite advantages to walking back drama and emotionally-ridden response in one's life, that is for sure.  

There are a few disadvantages, too. 

A life deliberately chosen to be lived without drama can be a flat life.  It's one where spirituality can't find oxygen. Where imagination is trumped by logic.  Where passion is replaced with indifference. 

Without drama, there is no music.  No Shakespeare.  No Frida Kahlo.  No Prince. There is no screaming and getting your head clear and coming back to the person you love and reaching for them in the night.  There is no self inspection because it gets mistaken for self absorption.  It's so easy to look at someone going through some lightening and thunder and say, man, is she melodramatic.  Well, maybe she is and maybe she just needs to spin awhile to awaken her soul.

Because we need drama to make us feel alive in the deepest part of ourselves.  We need to understand that life is a calypso dance, a fire dance, a tarantella.  Living in a space without drama will make us feel our spirituality doesn't even matter.  

Cutting drama out of life can bring us to the same place that anti-depressants often have us living in - the place where emotions fall so low on the priority list they're hardly worth expressing at all. 

I can't imagine a life without color and artists and composers.  I don't want to.  So why, then, would I ever want to eliminate drama from my life completely? I make art and restore old houses. There's nothing undramatic about those things.  If I can't come to the table fully ready to show up every single day with every single bit of passion in my heart and soul, how can I be the best I can be at creative ventures?

Sure, it makes me more vulnerable. But it also makes me live my humanity to the fullest.  

Creativity and drama are so intrinsically intertwined that if we try to cut one from the other, we kill both.  So we have to decide what we want.  Do we want to cut the velvet and silk and brocade and color and light and dark out of our lives simply because the drama that comes with having those things is just too much of a pain in the ass? 

Interestingly enough, we each need to figure out for ourselves how much drama is good for us, and when it's causing us too much grief.  It is a delicate balance. 

It's always possible to step away from dramatic situations that are taking too much of our time and energy.  But the point is not to make the mistake of thinking that zero drama is actually a way of life.  It's a way of existence, maybe, but it's not a way of life.  

The piece at the top is porcelain, a material that tries my patience at a level I cannot even express here.  I get SO ANGRY at porcelain clay because it is SUCH A DIVA (yes, I am shouting!).  It slumps, cracks, falls apart, doesn't take glaze easily, and about a million other frustrations that stoneware clay does not have. Last week I threw a clump of it against the wall.  

But then, if she has a good moment, porcelain will let you make something like you see in that picture.  And you just want to cry and thank the pottery gods. 

Oh, the drama of it!