The more you gravitate toward doing your own work, the more life will test you. This is a good thing. It might not feel good at the moment, but it's a good thing. Because as you gravitate towards the things that move you and that mean something to you, you'll bounce against your own personal limits.
Think of yourself as living inside of a balloon - a really big one. It's translucent but not transparent. But you know, because you've concentrated really hard, that the real joy, the real love, your real story is outside of the balloon. You can see the way the light prisms out there, and it's glowing at you, through the skin of the balloon.
But the balloon keeps you safe, and as long as you accept its limitations, you can walk around inside of it unimpeded. The balloon is your safety zone that cuts you off from your truth.
The balloon has had its benefits, but it's served its purpose.
So you start taking a running jump, and bashing into the side of the balloon. And it stops you. Hard.
It's resistance. It's self doubt. It's holding on to how others think about you too tightly. It's judging others and allowing them to judge you. It's bad boundaries, and it's not being able to say no when you really want to. All of those things have formed this micro-thin fiber that's tightly woven and creating the inner surface of your balloon. And seemingly impossible to break, since you're thrashing around in the darn thing trying to get out so hard.
Until on day you realize that it's not about bashing through your comfort zone. It's about loving your way through it.
You want to try new things that are outside your comfort zone? Try compassion, patience and love. Towards yourself.
Take steps carefully, prudently, but determinedly. Do your homework. Take care of yourself. But keep moving. Take pushback as learning and find another way. Allow yourself to fall, and to get back up.
You know what's going to happen? All those hard fibers of resistance? They'll start to dissolve.
And suddenly, that balloon that kept you closed up inside becomes something else. It becomes the stage that introduces you to the world. It becomes the steps that you climb. It becomes the story that is under your feet and reminds you of how far you've come.
And you are the glittering light that you viewed at from inside. You are the glow. You are your own sun, moon and sky.